Golf Humor Poetry:- Ode To The Fanatical Golfer. (Part Two)
He's not eager to reveal his handicap; Around the truth he would often tap. They told him
his game was taking a nap; That it never showed up; it needed a map!
Of his golf apparel
he was Oh so proud! But people thought it was just too 'loud'. Often suggesting it needed a
shroud; This caused a fight; a rolling dust cloud!
To his heart, golf was the key. It
was on the green his soul felt free. He could hardly await the time for 'tee'; But club dues
must be paid; this ride's got a fee.
Once in a blue moon he made a birdey; Though he
knew much about golf (a little nerdy). About to tee off- his feet stood sturdy; But only took
up a divot--brown and verde.
It didn't take long for his eyes to in-take; The path of
the ball; the flight it must make. "Easy!", he thought. "This is gonna be cake!" But the fish
all braced for it's entry into the lake.
In secret, the rules he would often bend; From
his mind, a rationalization he would lend. To him, the means justified the end; Like the
fiercest warrior, his handicap must he defend.
Into his 'golf life', sand traps would
rain; Bogeys rolled in like some ghastly train. Cancelling out any birdeys he'd gained;
"Another golf game", he sighed. "Oh, the pain!"
Shuffling into the house, his face fell.
It tapered. His wife smirked, "You lost again, didn't you?" And imagined the caper. With an
outstretched hand that 'said', "Pay her!"; Into her purse his $20 went. It vanished like a
vapor!
"No dinner for me, thanks. I'm heading in early." "Awww, it's just a game," she
said. "No need to be surley." "I'm not", he said. "I need to rise early." "Suuurrre!", she
said. "You and the proverbial 'birdy'."
He took a shower to wash away the day; It didn't
help much. That golf game would 'stay'. His spirits were lifted, though, when he thought, "But
hey!" And danced around saying, "Tomorrow's another 'golf day'!"
